How to win friends and influence people !!

Recently i got the opportunity to read one of the best book of the world on human relations and the way to deal with the people"HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE. "
And , literally found  that it's one of the best book. Dell Carnegie the writer of the book has done miracle with it.The way of dealing with the people gets completely changed after going through it. You start loving the people.You don't get angry whenever anyone does not treat you as you expect. If the people do not behave you normally then also you know how to bring them back. You know how to deal with the pople so tgat they will agree to your terms. If you are manager or head of any institution you know how to talk to your employee so that the productivity of your firm is increased . You know how to behave with the people so that they start liking you.   Even if the people do evil for you, You dont inculcate venom. You don't look for resentment, you just understand the feelings and the reason why the particular person behaved in that way. And most importantly you know , how you should behave with that person so that he will behave with you in the same way as you want.

Trying to pen down some of the learning of the book so that perhaps  they can get something who has not gone through the book , without giving  much  time.
(Infact, i had noted all these things just for myself and i do not tend to preach anything as even  i am trying to implement all these things on myself  and i am not at that level so that i can preach and advise. So,  please dont take it like preaching and all. If you don't find it useful, just skip it )

FUNDAMENTAL TECHNIQUES IN HANDLING THE PEOPLE
1.Don't criticize, condemn or complain about anyone. What do you get by doing so??
Nothing.
Inspite, you arouse a feeling of resentment in the mind of that person whom you criticize. And the people infront of whom, you criticise you loose your value. Even that particular person knows that you can criticize anyone. Your respect declines in thr eyes of other.

2.Give Honest and sincere appreciation to everyone . What do you think positive about them just tell them honestly. Remember , its the human tendency that each and everyone becomes pleased after listening  appreciation whoever he is and whatever his post is. So , dont hesitate in doing so.

3.Try to activate an eager want in other person.
Suppose you want that your particular work should be done by any person.Try to tell that person  what he will get in doing that work.Why it is important for him to do that job.

--::WAYS TO MAKE PEOPLE LIKE::-- YOU
1. Become genuinely interested in other people. Genuinely interested means Genuinely interested. It simply mean that you start taking care of the people. Whenever you meet them ask about them. And care for them.

2. Smile. It always benefits you. There is a  Chinese proverb ,"If you don't have an smiling face never go for any business" . In short smiling helps you out in million way whether it comes to personal or professional issues.
3. Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest.
Right now, i have witnessed this fact. During my training period the trainer who knew the names of most of the trainees, is loved and respected the most.

4. Be a good listener.Let the people talk about themselves. Never start talking about yourself. No, body is interested in "YOU" , everyone wants to talk about "I".

5. Talk in terms of other person's interest.
Whenever you meet any people think what should i speak so  that he will be interested in communication with me.

6.. Start to make people realising how important they are for you.
If they were not with you, where you had been.Make them realise that its because of them that you are here and if they will be with you what you can.

--::HOW TO WIN PEOPLE TO YOUR   WAY OF THINKING::--
1.The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
Always avoid the acute angle.Avoid the argument.Its better to give the dog the way than being bitten. Even if you will kill the dog, there will be no cure for the bite .
2. Always show the people that you are friendly . You care for them. You never let them be harmed. Always begin the conversation in the friendly way.

3.If you are wrong, accept it quickly .
4.Don't begin with the things you  differ but  begin with the things you agree .
5.Ask the person infront of you , such questions that he has to be agree. He has to say yes.There is a chinese proverb , "He who tread softly, goes far."

6. Let the people talk, never start with you. Let them speak first.Encourage them to speak. Provoke them to come out with the idea.Encourage them to say whatever they want and listen. Act like they are superior to you, act like they have the mastery in the discussion, what is going that particular time. Once the people starts feeling high they will cme up with  everything that they know.

7. Let the people feel that the idea is his or her.

8. Any people may be wrong. Anyone.Even you, even i. But most of the people does not accept it. If happens so,  never condemn them. Never blame them. Stay wise, stay exceptional that time. Try to put yourself at the people's  place and think what you would have done if you were there??
How you had reacted if you were in his/her shoes??

THE WAY TO CHANGE PEOPLE WITHOUT GIVING OFFENSE  OR AROUSING  RESENTMENT

1. Never criticise anyone directly. Neve say that the  job done by him or her is not good rather praise it and then slowly indicate that inspite of having such a great thing or a great piece of art it is not suitable for this particular thing. It would have been much better if it was so.So, Begin with the honest appreciation and praise.

2. Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly. Never say that you are wrong. Rather you go to them and say indirectly that if you had done done this job at somewhere else and at some other time it would have been better. But this is not the suitable place or suitable time. By the way its not the bad thing but its not the suitable place. Say and pat his shoulders with a smile.


3. Talk about your mistakes first. Let the people infront of you think that you are not the very different but you have conquered all the shortcomings and even he should try to do so. Once you talk about your own mistakes and then criticize the people next to you.
. He  or She does not feel like hurted respect.
4.Learn the human tendency.No one wants to take the order.Dont ever order anything even if it is urgent . Say politely and gently, " Would it be possible for you to do a favour for me...Actually i needed so and so...and i am too buy to get there...."
Along with this, if you are running an association dont order your employee to directly do the things, better ask them what is the best way that can be done to achieve the target. Let every one overthere feel a sense of "we" and "Our" .
Once your employee will start feeling that its their, no one can stop you and your company or association in reaching to the heights. So arouse a feeling of their in them . Let them feel that they are the precious gem of the association, let them feel that they are the most important things that the company had got...and let them feel that its their company and the growth of the company is their growth.

5. Whenever people show some improvement, when they accomplish something, when they succeed in any particular endeavour  they were expected to, whenever they do something  better ahead of their comfort zone. Just go and pat their  shoulder .Reward them.Make them feel special. Make them realized that they had done something worth ...better..

6. Give the person a very fine reputation to live up to. Make them realized that their life is precious and it should be taken care of.

7. Encourage the people.Never criticise and condemn then.Even if they had commited a huge mistake. Make them realise that the mistake done is big, may be...but to correct that mistake is nt a big deal...what it takes is just a small effort and i know you can easily
make it. Pat his shoulders after saying it.

8. Be sincere. Do not promise anything that you can not provide, that you can not deliver.
Forget about you. Forget about the benefits to yourself and concentrate on the benefits of the person next to you.

9.Know exactly what it is that you want the next person to do.
Think what to speak so that the person get ready to do the things happily what you want him to do it for you. Suppose you are running a hotel then yoy can't make the people eat wgat you wabt. You will have to understand the requirement of the customer and you will have to serve them that things only what they really want   not what you want them to it. So, the principle is applicable everywhere..


10. Be empathetic. Analyze what exactly the other person really wants.

11.Consider the benefits that the other person will receive after doing the things what you  are suggesting right now.

12. Match those things to the other person's want.


And these were the things,,,,these were the learnings of the book. I tried to pen it down as much as i could. It would be much better for you if you go through the book. In the book you will be finding lot of real life examples how these steps worked out and changed the life of the people. How these secrets were used and what was the outcome's. So, it will be better for you to go through the book if you have the time. If you dont have or you dont like to read the books,,  these are the learnings.

Thank you.